- Michelle Garcia
Five Toxic Behaviors That Are Stealing Your Happiness
We have all acted in ways that can be considered toxic or less than stellar. Things are said that we wish we can take back, or events happened where our behavior was not what it should have been.
What happens when there continues to be behavior that seems to attract negative people or attitudes into our lives? These feelings can steal our happiness without us even realizing it.
If we can identify this conduct and make some conscious decisions and choices, we can start to bring happiness and joy back into our lives. We can begin to attract the right people into our lives by making some much-needed changes.
Here are five toxic behaviors and ideas how to change them.
Acting like you are always the victim. Do you know someone like this? Or is this you? Life seems to happen to this person, and they act like they have no control over the outcome of their day. When we believe that our decisions have no impact on our existence, we no longer have to take responsibility for the outcome of our lives. We have more power than we give ourselves credit for. To break free from a victim mentality we have to believe we have power. We have the power to make decisions and choices in our life. Take control of your power and be responsible for the decisions you make.
Worrying about the future. We can’t live in the land of “What if…” What if I get sick? What if I lose my job? There are things that you can plan for to build a safety net for your future, but nothing is guaranteed in this life. Tomorrow will come whether we want it to or not. Learn to live today, in this moment. Take steps to feel healthy, have a secure job, etc., but don’t obsessively worry about what has not yet happened.
Lack of compassion. We see it every day on the news; people being cruel and violent towards one another. One of the things I didn’t like about myself after several years of being a police officer was my lack of compassion. I saw tragedy after tragedy and I lost that sense of empathy for others who were hurting or struggling in their life. It made me hard and callous toward the world. After recognizing that I had lost that sense of compassion, I was able to make changes to feel for other people when they were hurting, and be kind and show humanity for others. Do you treat people differently because of their status in the world? Notice if you feel a lack of compassion for others and see if you can make that shift to kindness and caring.
Feeling stuck in the past. Whatever happened yesterday or ten years ago is over. Let it go. I know that’s easier said than done sometimes, but it’s time to move on and forgive the people who’ve wronged you. If you’ve wronged someone, work to remedy your actions, and then you have to forgive yourself. Are there situations you wish you could go back and change? Of course, but you can’t. Accept it for what it is. Come to a place where you can feel it’s taught you a great lesson and then move forward.
Comparing yourself to others. Nothing can steal your happiness quicker than comparing yourself to those around you. We are all uniquely different and have different attributes, so sometimes we can feel a little jealousy. Remember that what we see on the exterior sometimes isn’t always as wonderful as it seems. It’s okay to see someone and think how beautiful they are, but remember you are also beautiful and wonderful. Just because someone drives a nice car or lives in a big house doesn’t make them happier or better than you. Don’t let yourself feel “less than” anyone else.
Do you recognize yourself in any of these behaviors? Notice the next time these feelings come up for you. The first thing is to recognize and notice the behavior and then start to make small changes around that feeling. Move past these toxic behaviors to create a better life for yourself.